I hate to jump on the gossip train, but the photos of Lindsay Lohan at Fashion Week make me wince.  She is so thin that her face looks distorted.

While, as someone who suffered from anorexia as a teenager, my heart completely goes out to her and I understand all too personally how it feels… I think that when celebrities who clearly are struggling with disordered eating on some level or another claim that they are so healthy and that they just ate a Big Mac, it creates huge problems for the girls at home who observe them and want to be them.  Again, I can understand wanting privacy, and I honestly can’t picture LiLo speaking into a reporter’s microphone at Fashion Week and saying, “Yes, I ate 700 calories today” but–whether they like it or not–female celebrities become youth culture paradigms of beauty and style.  My hope, though, is that girls don’t want to emulate Lindsay Lohan’s new physique and that they’ll look to women like…

Uh oh.  I’m drawing a complete blank for ideas on healthy women celebrities.  Ideas?  I would volunteer America Ferrera, but I was disappointed at how the star of indie movie Real Women Have Curves dropped a lot of weight when she made her prime time debut.  I would volunteer Blake Lively or Lily Allen, but I actually don’t know a thing about their eating habits, I just like them a lot.  Haha…

Supergirls Speak Out just got a really nice review in Publishers Weekly, a popular trade publication for the publishing/media industries.

Check it out:

Supergirls Speak Out: Inside the Secret Crisis of Overachieving Girls
Liz Funk. Simon & Schuster, $15(256p) ISBN 9781416562634
First-time author Funk defines the term “supergirl” as an over-achieving young woman with a compulsive need to be the best in all areas: school, extracurricular activities, social networking and, of course, physical appearance. As she and her fellows are discovering, however, the pressure of such all-encompassing ambition can result in exhaustion, eating disorders, emotional problems and screwed up priorities. One of Funk’s 100-plus interviewees bemoans that “’[w]hen you Google me, nothing comes up. I need to have Google prowess’”; for herself, Funk confesses her chagrin over publishing her first book (this one) at the age of 20 instead of 18. Though such a young writer can’t possibly tackle the complex state of 21st century feminism without reading (at the least) precocious, freelance writer Funk has done her research, and her writing is lucid and intelligent. A good deal of unnecessary ranting could have been cut, and brand name fatigue sets in early (one hopes Funk is getting kickbacks from Starbucks). Still, Funk provides some fresh insights, especially for a younger audience brought up on The Devil Wears Prada and the myth of workplace gender equality, encouraging self-awareness, reasonable priorities, and a healthy outlook. (Mar.)

Ha… I only wish that Starbucks was giving me kickbacks!  After reading this, I mildly considered bringing this review with me to Starbucks and saying, “Hello, I’d like a triple-grande-caramel-macchiato… for free?”

He’s Just Not that Into You, the bestselling book by the Sex and the City staff writer Greg Behrendt has been adapted for the silver screen and hit theaters on February 6th.  The movie of the same name stars Jennifer Aniston, Ben Affleck, and Drew Barrymore, and is poised to be a Valentine’s Day rom-com hit as it delivers a funny yet tough-love message to single women viewers: “If he’s not calling, if he’s not asking you out, and if he’s not proposing, he’s just not that into you.”

But “He’s Just Not that Into You” willfully overlooks a key aspect of today’s singles scene.  In previous eras, books like “How to Catch and Hold a Man” and the Rules were anachronistic dating bibles that instructed young women to make themselves unavailable and play hard to get, because men supposedly love the thrill of the chase and they enjoy being the pursuers.  But young women today make themselves so overly available to men that it turns men off.  When young women call and text their crushes constantly, initiate making out on the first date and make themselves sexually available after the second and third dates, and act so eager to please (often ironically in the name of equalitarian dating!), it inspires guys to turn the tables.  When young women make themselves so available, guys in turn become withholding and they suddenly can call the shots in the relationship–again–by not calling.  Men become the ones who don’t return text messages, who don’t call back, and who don’t express interest in the opposite sex’s carefully thought-out jokes during dates, because men know that this will drive women even faster into their arms.

These new gender roles in dating give men all the same power they had when they were the pursuers, and young women around the country (especially on college campuses!) are finding that they embarrass themselves again and again as they pursue relationships… but they don’t have any other ideas on how to lure guys when they’re not coming on too strong.  A generation or so ago, women’s main question was, “Why isn’t he calling?!”  Today, the stressful question is, “Why isn’t he returning any of my [seven] calls?”  I’m not judging anyone because I’m just as guilty of this behavior as any girls, and I think the key problem is that we gals (and especially we Supergirls!) are so eager to go on dates, hook-up, and have boyfriends that we want to pester them and follow-up with them until we get to see them again.  But it makes guys pull away, and it gives them all the power.

Honestly, I am going to see He’s Just Not that Into You this weekend, and I have a feeling I’m going to like it–I love virtually anything with Jennifer Aniston in it–but it’s interesting to look at the history of dating and gender roles that this otherwise fun-loving rom-com brings up.  But there’s something we can do!  We need to need guys less; we need to stop investing our identities in our male counterparts and stop desperately wanting male validation.  (I know, I know, much easier said than done).  If women approach dating, sex, and relationships with the same casual attitude that men seem to employ (”If something happens, great.  If not, no big deal, I’ve got Friday night open now!”), I think we’ll find dating to be much more enjoyable when the stakes are lower.

My TODAY Show experience went swimmingly!  I’m pleased to say that Meredith Viera could not have been nicer and I got to meet Matt Lauer and Al Roker, who were both very friendly, as was the whole staff at the TODAY Show.  It was definitely the most exhilarating experience of my life thus far.

I honestly can’t quite figure out how to get the embedded video clip of my interview with Meredith Viera here, so feel free to head over to TODAYShow.com to read an excerpt from my book and watch the video!

… I’ll be on NBC’s TODAY Show talking about “Supergirls Speak Out” and the limiting female ideal in Generation Y with Meredith Viera at 8:15.  I’ll post a clip here as soon as it’s live.

Wish me luck!!!

30 Rock may be the most underrated show on television right now.  I think that if more people knew about it, 30 Rock would be the one show that everyone in America tuned in for on Thursday nights.

There are a few things that I love about 30 Rock:

1. The writing is excellent.  A lot of it is laugh-out-loud funny, but the writing is also hysterical in the sense that you think about lines from the show the day after you watch them and you just laugh a little to yourself, like, “Wow, that’s really clever.” (Exhibit A, from NBC.com)

2. It’s a very high-concept show: a head TV writer (Tina Fey) who is wildly awkward but also very sweet, is in charge of managing a zany staff of writers and actors on an NBC sketch comedy show, who is jerked around by her domineering-yet-lovable TV executive boss.

3.This show has really made me admire Tina Fey.  Her character–Liz Lemon–is a strong, successful, openly feminist woman who is a good example of how women can successfully lead in the office.  However, I also admire Tina Fey because “Liz Lemon” is also extremely zany and at times, it’s an extremely unflattering role (Exhibit B, from NBC.com) and I think most actresses would have qualms about being portrayed as the anti-sex appeal.

(In one episode, after Liz Lemon pretends to be an alcoholic to impress her crush, who is an alcoholic, Liz confesses all her secrets to him so he won’t be mad at her anymore for listening to him share his life’s secrets at an AA meeting.  Liz says, “Once in college, I pooped my pants a little bit at a Country Steaks all-you-can-eat buffet and I didn’t leave until I finished my second plate of shrimp.”)

Seriously, the show is hysterical, go watch it.  If you’re like me and you don’t like to watch TV shows in the order the episodes were intended to be in, start with “Tracy Does Conan,” “Seinfeld Vision” or “Greenzo.”

It’s the new year, and naturally lots of people are thinking about watching their waistlines and perhaps atoning for some over-indulgences during last year’s holiday season, or perhaps indulgences during all of last year.

Walking through my local Borders, I noticed something pretty intriguing: one of the new diet books popular with men right now is the book Eat This, Not That, by Men’s Health editor David Zinczenko.  The book has a simple yet efficient concept: making simple replacements in your food choices can save you hundreds of calories a day, and yet you still get to eat what you want to eat.  For example, Zinczenko recommends eating a 540 calorie Big Mac from McDonald’s rather than a 760 calorie Whopper from Burger King or eating a Krispy Kreme donut rather than one from Dunkin Donuts to save 130 calories.  Surprisingly, eating a turkey sub from Subway rather than Panera saves 500 calories!  Sounds like a smart, helpful book that gives readers easy, encouraging, and realistic suggestions.

Then… we get to the women’s diet books, and everything changes.  Everyone knows the hottest diet book for young women right now–Skinny Bitch.  In Skinny Bitch, two former modeling agents encourage their female readers to adopt a vegan diet, and write that “soda is liquid Satan” and “sugar is the devil.”  They berate their readers into dieting, and at one point, they even refer to their readers at “gluttonous pigs.”  The fare on the book’s recommended food list is bland and decidedly “diet food,” and it intrigues me that the most popular diet book for modern women encourages them to adopt the culinary palates of guinea pigs.

So, look at this striking dichotomy: guys get diet books that encourage them to eat healthier while acknowledging that people are much more likely to diet successfully while eating food that is convenient and tastes good, and women get diet books that exponentially limit what food they can eat, written in a snarky, nasty, anti-feminist tone.

(There is a fantastic article that ran in the Christian Science Monitor about the anti-feminism inherent in “tough love” self-help for women, citing the Skinny Bitch books as a particularly problematic).

I think the key problem with the Skinny Bitch books is that when someone picks up a diet book, it’s because she’s feeling bad about how she looks and feels.  So do women dieters really need extra berating on the body image front?  Absolutely not!  So, ladies, I offer you a challenge: the next time you’re in the market to buy a diet book, consider buying the one geared towards guys–Eat This, Not That.  I’d make the prediction that dieters who make smarter choices eating the food they were going to consume anyway are more likely to lose more weight in the long term than the women who stop eating 90% of what they like and last a week on their radical diets.

Courtney Macavinta, a feminist author and founder of the teen empowerment organization Respect RX is spearheading leadership summits for women who want to become leaders in helping girls around self-esteem issues!  There are three trainings–called Respect Rally Leader Trainings–on the west coast in April: one in San Jose, CA, one in Portland, OR, and one in Los Angeles, CA. Details below!

Are you a:
• girl service provider
• school staff member
• student activities director
• youth organization
• parent
• girl conference planner
• prevention agency

Who wants to:
…teach girls about self-respect?
…show girls how to create mutual respect in relationships?
…break the cycle of and prevent alcohol, tobacco and drug abuse, eating disorders, bullying, pregnancy, STDs, high-school dropout or dating violence among teens?
…foster self-respecting choices among teen girls?
…develop girls as leaders who spread respect for all?
…host an annual interactive girl conference that’s coupled with a respect-building curriculum for your organization?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, then you’re ready to attend a Respect Rally Leader Training!

Click here to view more details

Check out this great interview that I just did with Lauren Baratz-Logsted of Teen Fiction Cafe: http://www.teenfictioncafe.blogspot.com/

Seriously, I can’t give enough praise for KMS hair products and Aveda hair products… although obviously our interview covered a lot more about the Supergirls than just their shiny tresses!

Just for you-know-what’s and giggles, I feel like sharing some of my favorite quotes and passages from books. Check ‘em out; feel free to click on the links to see exactly where the quotes are from. What are some of your favorite sayings or passages?

“Science, you say, will save us. Science, I say, has destroyed us… The promises of science have not been kept. Promises of efficiency and simplicity have bred nothing but pollution and chaos. We are a fractured and frantic species moving down a path of destruction… The language of science comes with no signposts about good and bad…. We ask not why you will not govern yourselves, but how can you? Your world moves so fast that if you stop even for an instant to consider the implications of your actions, someone more efficient will whip past you in a blur.” (Dan Brown)

“… Have you thought of the fellow on the other side of [the fire]? The finicky, critical husband looking through his art books on mythical Greece. What worship has HE ever known? Real worship! Without worship you shrink, it’s as brutal as that… I shrank my own life. No one can do it for you. I settled for being pallid and provincial, out of my own eternal timidity. The old story of bluster, and do bugger-all… While I sit there… a freaky boy tries to conjure the reality!… Then in the morning, I put away my books on the cultural shelf, close up the kodachrome snaps of Mount Olympus, touch my reproductive statue of Dionysus for luck–and go off to hospital to treat him for insanity!” (Peter Shaffer, Equus)

“On her kitchen table she set out the joint, a pack of matches, and a saucer. She positioned a chair in front of them and turned off all but one light. She had a cassette marked DANCE that had been broken for five years. Training her desk light on it, she opened it up and spliced out the mangled stretch with Scotch Magic tape and nail scissors.  The dope tasted like April in college; like the music on the tape. She danced… her arms and legs mixing the last faint banks of smoke into a haze. She thought she was crying when “Beast of Burden” played, but when she opened her eyes there were no tears and it seemed that she’d only imagined it.  Outside the kitchen window she lay down on the wet, sloping shingles. They were made of real slate.” (Jonathan Franzen)

“‘What’s life for?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘I don’t either. But I don’t think it’s about winning.’” (Jonathan Franzen)

“Oh, Oscar! When will you learn that there is no such thing as free shrimp!?” (Arrested Development)

“Then when you wake up one day about forty years old and you say, ‘My God, I’ve arrived! I’m there.’ And you don’t feel very different from what you’ve always felt. And there’s a slight letdown because you feel there’s a hoax. It was a hoax! A dreadful hoax! They made you miss everything.  We thought life by analogy was a journey, was a pilgrimage which had a serious purpose at the end and the thing was to get to that end, success or whatever it is or maybe heaven, after you’re dead. But we missed the point the whole way along. It was a musical thing and there was supposed to be singing and dancing while the music was being played. (Alan Watts)