Teen girls are in love with the vampire character Edward in Stephanie Meyer’s bestselling novel and blockbuster adapted-movie Twilight.  And it makes sense: Edward’s young, he’s charming, he’s attractive, and while he may be bloodsucking, he’s not looking for sex.

The sexual norms in Generation Y (today’s 13 to 30 year olds, to broadly define the demographic) are rather different from years past. Young women are no longer sexual gatekeepers; in fact, frequently young women say, “I don’t want to be in a serious relationship, I just want sex” and pursue hook-ups (the broad term used by Gen Y-ers to describe everything from steamy kissing to sexual intercourse) as fiercely as young men do.

This isn’t the case in Twilight, where a teenaged girl named Bella Swan falls in love with Edward Cullen, a boy at her new school who leads a secret double life as a vampire.  The pair start going out and eventually fall in love… but Edward doesn’t pursue have sex with Bella (he’s afraid he might get caught up in the visceral heat of the moment and hurt her).  Although Bella initially wanted to have sex regardless of the risk inherent in having sex with vampires, Edward and Bella eventually end up completely enthralled by one another… and they’re fine without going all the way.

(Although I’m told by a friend of mine who has read the entire Twilight series that Edward eventually becomes “the most passionate lovemaker in the world!” when he and Bella get married.  Which is an entirely different think piece!)

While there is so much that contributes to the appeal of the four books in this series—the precise narration, the intriguing vampire-lifestyle details, and the “forbidden fruit” love story (hence the cover art: a shiny red apple), the reason many young women are attracted to these books is the perfect love story that isn’t at all tainted for the heroine Bella by the complications of sex!

Many young women who pursue hook-ups would actually much rather be in long-term relationships, but they figure that dating takes too long, guys don’t like relationships, and that they themselves may not be “relationship material.”  Although fans of the Samantha Jones character on Sex and the City will assert that it’s 2008 and women can have “sex like men,” the truth is that many young women end up somewhat scathed by hooking up.  Girls pursue casual sex, but then they get disappointed when they realize that the boys, too, just wanted sex; they thought they could have the physical element of the relationship first, and then develop an emotional connection.  Girls aren’t tapping into just how much they crave the emotional intimacy that goes along with relationships.  In pursuing hook-ups, girls sacrifice the emotional closeness that they so crave!

That is, young women frequently go into sex thinking it’s just for fun, but feel intensely rejected if the guy doesn’t want a real relationship or wants to be in a relationship with a different girl. The boys don’t know what’s expected of them during hook-ups, and the girls become upset with the guys… but the guys can’t read girls’ minds.  This miscommunication totally polarizing the genders, and it has girls feeling like, when it comes to sex, guys are dogs.

Thus, there is wisdom in the countless girls joining Twilight-themed and Edward Cullen-themed Facebook groups and lining up in droves at television studios to see the Twilight stars in person.  Because of the rather lax approach to sexuality in this generation, young women have been hurt by guys and sex in the past, so they are totally into the idea of a cute, romantic boy who wants a relationship with all the romance that goes with it, even if there is no sex!  In fact, to fans of the Twilight books, Edward is a gentle, alluring guy who is defanged (if only figuratively) by his lack of sexual advances towards Bella.

What Bella and Edwards have is love—they would never list their Facebook relationship status as “It’s Complicated…” (a certain reverberation of the hook-up culture).  Thus, if love is what today’s young women want, they should cool their jets and pursue real relationships and deeper connections with guys, and eventually tackle the sexual element.   It’s not that abstinence is the goal here: it’s that teen girls should eventually tackle sexual elements when they’re more emotionally connected in their relationships.

And while dating takes time and patience and a completely new approach to relationships, if a teenaged vampire boy can control his visceral urges, mortal teenaged girls should be able to, too.